I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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