Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
