Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
