:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Randomize