There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
