so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
