wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
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