i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Shame - the story of my life.
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