I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Randomize
