Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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