i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I feel like a drive thru vagina
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
