So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
