I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
