Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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