so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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