Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
did you just send me my own nude
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
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