garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
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