Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
