I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
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