Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
