Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
