i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
