You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
There's even glitter on my cock...
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