i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
