Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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