let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
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