He asked to "fluff my boner.."
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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