i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
We just shotgunned beers for America
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Randomize
