WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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