I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Who put my cat in the fridge?
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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