So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
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