1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
