I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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