I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
