Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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