a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Randomize