Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I'm always down for nudity.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
