I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I AM VODKA MAN
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
