he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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