Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I don't deserve a penis
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
