he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Randomize
