When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Randomize
