You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
