Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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