He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
