yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
