she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Randomize
