Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
