the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
