OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
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