And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
