I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
All the doctor said was why
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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